Things I Have Learned From Japanese Folk Tales



  1. When all else fails, shave your head and become a Buddhist monk.
  2. Chances are, if you stumble upon somebody in the middle of nowhere, they’re probably a demon.
  3. If you’re planning to butcher an animal, don’t talk about it within earshot of said animal. It can understand everything you’re saying.
  4. Karma always comes around to right wrongs, and isn’t afraid to kill you or your loved ones.
  5. If a magical turtle princess gives you a box and tells you never to open it, don’t open the damn box.
  6. Most forests are haunted or enchanted.
  7. If you’re travelling alone, you should damn-well be a devout Buddhist or expert samurai. If not, you’re likely to get eaten by demons.
  8. As a corollary to #3, nearly all animals are inexplicably incredibly smart or magical, and it’s always worth your while to save even the most insignificant creatures. If you don’t, you’re an asshole, and will probably suffer from #4.
  9. Life’s good as a samurai…until you have to commit seppuku.
  10. Don’t break promises with dead people.
  11. Women will always die before men. Seriously.
  12. A girl who loses her mother will always turn out to be the image of perfection. When her father remarries, the step-mother will always hate her.
  13. All step-mothers are wicked, jealous women.
  14. Foxes and raccoon dogs are irritating shape-shifting demons, and will become the bane of your existence.
  15. Some demons or spirits just want to settle down and start a family. Unfortunately, the husband always finds out their dearly beloved is inhuman far too late, sometimes 15 years too late. When her true identity is discovered, she will give a prolonged speech about whatever her deal is before disappearing forever. So much for love.

Music Lesson

Plenty of non-musicians like to play air guitar or air drums, but only bassists will play air bass.

Music Lesson

If you’re playing guitar with a broom, could that be considered sweep picking?